My Soulmate

Thirteen years ago tomorrow was the worst day of my life. I lost my loving husband, John, to multiple myeloma, a blood cancer. He had been diagnosed with the cancer four years earlier and had fought a valiant battle against it. Unfortunately, it was the aggressive form of the disease and he died almost four years to the day he had been diagnosed. Despite the diagnosis, John was determined to make the most of each day afterwards and we did have another four years together because of the treatments he endured. He was valiant, a true warrior but suffered several side effects from the chemotherapy and radiation sessions he was put through. Shingles, C Dif, a muscle disease, problems with his jaw and fluid in his lungs were just a few I can recall. His left femur broke when he was just walking out of the mall, and his right arm broke as he stood up from the chair after chemotherapy. The doctor suggested surgery for his leg and a rod was placed in the bone to help it heal. Myeloma attacks organs or bones, and in John’s case, it went after his bones. When he broke his arm, he refused to have a rod placed in it and I knew that he was getting tired of the fight. The doctor suggested he go to a rehab facility, but I knew he would be more comfortable at home with me and our six children. She suggested Hospice care when he was discharged from Johns Hopkins and I had no idea that he only had two weeks left to live.

Despite all his suffering, John rarely complained and kept thanking me for things I did for him. When the priest would visit him at home, he would thank him profusely as he did with the extraordinary ministers who brought him Communion. He wanted to be able to get back to church to attend Mass but that proved impossible. He was thrilled when family members came to visit him, and they all visited the last two weeks of his life.

There are so many good memories of the twenty seven years we spent together watching our family grow and doing all the normal things families do. Whenever John would walk through the garage door into the kitchen after work, he had a big smile on his face. He enjoyed playing games with the kids, watching their sporting events and even needling them about Philadelphia sports teams.

We had taken several memorable trips together, California, Niagara Falls, the Poconos and the Virgin Islands. Every summer we would take the kids to the beach in New Jersey. John loved the beach because when he was young his family would take road trips out West. Another great trip was going with my Mom and the kids to Disney World in Florida. Two months before he died we even went on our first cruise to Bermuda. At that time, John was taking pills for his chemo and he enjoyed the cruise so much he thought there should be Chemo Cruises to uplift cancer patients spirits. He had wanted to postpone the trip so he could look forward to it longer, but I told him no, we are going now because you feel OK. Thank God we went then, because John was able to walk a lot on the ship and at Bermuda, but when we returned home his leg broke and then a month later his arm did.

I want to thank God and my sister-in-law Ilene, for meeting John at a Singles Club dance at my parish. He was a devoted husband, loving father, son and brother, and uncle. I am sure that he earned his heavenly reward here on earth and he was a true Christian example to everyone who knew him. My life would not have been the same without his love and the children we shared. I miss him every day, but feel he is still with us especially at family celebrations and weddings and the birth of his grandchildren. He couldn’t wait to retire and wanted to be here to see his daughters and sons successes and his grandchildren. Love you forever, John, and appreciate your intercession for the family you loved so much.